Why can't I move on?
by Sakura Keiko
Summary: Miku and Len are together. Rin's...jealous?


PS: To all Hatsune Miku fans, do NOT read this. SHe is deeply insulted in this fic- I'm not saying she's mean. This is just how I feelMy first Vocaloid fanfic!

Inspiration: My life

Disclaimer: I don't own Vocaloid, etc.

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**Heartbreak to love**

Chapter one: What _is_ love?

**Rin's POV**

Len walked inside the classroom(with a big smile plastered on his face, may I add?) holding his new girlfriend's, Miku's, hand. Len courted her for about five months and now they are together. A perfectly happy couple. Disgusting. Kaito, Miku's ex-boyfriend, glared at Len, but this only made the latter smirk and wrap his arms around Miku's waist. You could just see the smoke coming from Kaito's head. While I, on the other hand, sat still and even though I so wanted to murder Miku right now(I won't give her the satisfaction and I have my pride), I restrained myself thinking that doing that would only make Len dislike me more. Luka looked worriedly at me then them then at me again.

Len and Miku took their seats beside each other and started talking and smiling sweetly to each other. It was if they were the only ones in the classroom. I sighed. Is that what Love does to you? In some books I've read, Love makes you feel like you're the most special girl in the world. They say love makes you feel wonderful. Love is the most precious gift anyone can ever give you.

If that's so, then why do I feel like an idiot letting the one she loves slip out of her reach?Why do I feel like I'm the stupidest person in the whole world? Why do I feel like I don't belong? Why do I feel…. _Empty?_

I shook my head. Len would never love me. Len only thought of me as a friend- a _best_ friend. He never had the feelings I harboured for him—not towards me at least. He loved Miku. Correction: He _loves_ Miku. Of course. Who didn't? Miku's pretty, cute, and had a really good voice. Everyone adored her. Everyone looked up to her. She had everything. I just don't understand why she needs to steal Len away from me when he already has Kaito on her feet… What about me? What am _I_ supposed to do with my life now that my one, true love has left me?

Oh, great. The boring sensei's here…

_**After class…**_

"Rin-chan, " a gentle, familiar voice called to me.

I looked up. It was from Luka. She looked worried.

"What?" I asked, trying my best to act normal…

"Well, "She started, "You seemed really out of it today. When sensei called you, you didn't know the answer. And it was _English!_" She said 'english' like it was the easiest thing in the world.

I smiled and stood up, "I'm fine… I'm just not feeling well."

She muttered, "You were really good in English…"

I put a hand on her shoulder and said, "I _am_ good in English, Luka. Don't worry. I just need some time alone…"

She didn't seem to believe me, "Does it have something to do with Len dating Miku?"

I froze. I tried to think of a sentence that wouldn't be lying and wouldn't be the entire truth either and bonus points if it's funny or catchy. But I couldn't think of anything. My mind was a total blank and I found myself, minutes later, telling Luka everything. Everything about how I hated Len choosing Miku over me. Everything about how I'm so hurt because I had always been there for him, but he only thought of me as a friend. Everything about how I hated seeing him kissing her…

"I'm so selfish, aren't I? I should be happy for them, shouldn't I?" I could hardly stop myself from crying, "I'm sure Miku will be able to make Len happy, but why? Why is this feeling taking over me? Why can't I just accept the fact that they love each other and move on? Luka, I can't understand myself anymore…"

"Because…maybe he's the one destined for you.." Luka said, a warm smile on her face.

I stared at Luka, "Wh-What?"

Luka continued, "It is said that if a certain person is the person destined for you, he will never ever escape your mind and you can't move on without him."

I stared at her, surprised. Luka has never been a fan of these romantic things…until now. Realizing what she had said, Luka blushed and hurried off with a smile and a 'Good Luck!' I smiled. Luka was indeed a nice friend. I proceeded to fix my things. Then I felt a hand over my shoulder.

"Rin."

I turned around. It was Len. Of course. Who else could it have been? I wanted to pour out my feelings like what I did to Luka, but _toward_ him, not _about_ him(I don't know if that makes sense)

Instead I managed to smile and say, "Hi"

He looked at me as if there was something wrong and he was struggling to figure it out.

He said, "You weren't paying attention to class earlier."

It feels like _everyone_ is on my case lately.

"And…you care why?" I said, getting ready to leave.

"I'm just worried about you."

"Oh, you don't need to." I said, "Just go with your oh-so-precious girlfriend there" I pointed to the half opened door, "who, while waiting for you, is flirting with some other guys, kay, Kagamine-kun?"

He flinched at the way I called him, "Miku does NOT flirt. Why are you like this Rin? Did I do something wrong?"

I smiled at him plasticly and said, "You did _everything_ wrong."

He stayed rooted on the ground and didn't move an inch. Why can't he just tell me he hates me so I can move on with my life? Oh, right. I can't move on. My life sucks.

(*~I~*)

Today definitely isn't my lucky day. So far: I stepped on some dog's poop on the way home, A black cat crossed my path(I'm not really superstitious, but with my luck anything can happen!), my one true love has found a (according to him) perfect girlfriend and I can't forget about him and move on (because my bestfriend says 'he is _the one_ for me' whatever that means)

If there was a 'Most Suckish Life Ever' contest, I'd probably be the winner two seconds after I enter. I disgust myself, do you know that? I sound like those girls in those books Miku reads. Those girls and me are very similar except I have bigger problems than them. Their usual problem is 'Mom will get mad at me again for making out with that guy' or 'my room's a mess.'

I still need to do my homework. I'm too broken-hearted to do homework! Can't teachers see that?-Oh, right. They're _teachers_. I glanced around my black and orange room. My eyes darted to the little orange plushie Len gave me on my 12th birthday. I wanted to burn that plushie, but no one would let me because (in mom's reasoning) "the poor company that made that plushie would be heartbroken if you burn it" and (in dad's reasoning) "that boy-what was his name again? Ben?—will only be happy that you burned it. Don't give him the satisfaction! Mwahahaha!" and (in Luka's reasoning) "burning releases carbon dioxide. Carbon dioxide destroys the ozone layer and is poison for us humans"

Well, here's what I have to say:

Mom,_ 'The poor company that made that plushie' _probably still has a million more duplicates for that plushie (I'm calling it 'that' plushie from now on). First, dad, his name is _LEN_ and second, why would he be happy I burned it? He would never find out. Luka, I agree of your reasoning, but carbon dioxide need plants to live so I'm actually _helping_ the plants, right?

I decided to start doing my homework if I wanted it finished. Somewhere in the middle I found myself bored and decided to just copy off Luka's homework tomorrow. I kicked that plushie and threw it outside the window. Good. Now I just have to act like I never knew it was gone. I plopped on my bed and fell asleep. When I woke up, it was already 11 and I have no intention to sleep any longer.

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I'm thinking on maybe making the next chapter Len's point of view…or Luka's? Review to suggest! Also, I think I've already said this, but I think Miku is great and not a flirt, but in this story she needs to be so the story will make sense.


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